As you may have read recently, or seen on my social media, that we lost our son May 2020. I was 16 weeks pregnant when we lost our sweet boy. You can read about his birth and loss story HERE. Music has many different meanings and feelings attached. This grief playlist was the last thing I wanted to listen to. Now it’s my anthems of hope, comfort, and peace.
There are good and bad days. Happier and darker days. There are things that help and things that trigger the anger, pain, and sadness. My family is my saving grace. Mal, my 2-year-old son keeps me laughing and smiling. My husband holds me, calms me, and keeps us going when I don’t feel like I can.
It’s easier now, months later. The hole is scarring over and the pain is more like a dull ache. A quick punch to the stomach every now and again. In the beginning, I couldn’t listen to music. Anything sad, quiet, or relatively melancholic was out of the question. After a few weeks, I started listening to a few worship songs. Elevation Worship had just released its new album and it was the only thing I could listen to. The words, the feelings, it all spoke to my hurt, my thoughts, and what I needed to hear and believe.
I thought of music as something that would make me feel worse. But it turns out it was just what I needed. That and my garden that we planted with Marigolds (the October birth flower, my son’s supposed to be birthday month). I created a playlist that to this day, almost 3 months later, is still on repeat. I’m sharing it with you in the hopes that maybe you’ll find some comfort in the lyrics and songs that have brought me peace.
My Grief Playlist
Graves Into Gardens – Elevation Worship
Rattle – Elevation Worship
My Testimony – Elevation Worship
Never Lost – Elevation Worship
Seasons – Needtobreathe
Find you Here – Ellie Goulding
God Only Knows – For King and Country
Way Maker – Leeland
The Blessing
He knows – Jeremy Camp
Praise you in This Storm – Casting Crowns
Hold My Heart – Tenth Avenue North
Lift Me Up – The Afters
There will be a day – Jeremy Camp
I Still Believe – Jeremy Camp
If you’ve got any songs that have meant the world to you in times of trouble, share them. It can bring hope to others too. I hope these songs can bring you some comfort if that’s what you’re seeking right now or in the future.
Love Crystal
