pur·pose

/ˈpərpəs/noun

  1. the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”the purpose of the meeting is to appoint a trustee”

Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions? Wake up, drink coffee (a must), have breakfast, get the kids ready, go to work, come home… you get the picture. The same routine day in and day out. Feeling lost or confused? Certain the job you’re working was your dream, what you should have been doing. Searching for something more? Maybe your purpose in life, in your work? Yeah, me too! I love my routine with my little guy, but it’s when that time comes where I have to go back to work – that routine; I’m not sure about.

After becoming a mom, my entire perspective on my dreams and my purpose changed. I knew from the moment I became pregnant, my kids would always be my purpose, being a doctor or having a nice career wasn’t my purpose anymore. Taking care of my family, no matter how tiring it was or frustrating some days might be. At the end of the day, all fed and warm, tucked in and sleeping, I would have fulfilled my purpose. My mom had a lot of pregnancy issues, and I spend lots of time wishing and hoping to be a mom, but so scared that it wouldn’t be something that I was supposed to be. Luckily, but not without a few complications, I was a mom. To the most wonderful little boy, but I’m biased. I know he’s my purpose, however, now I’m not sure what else I was meant to do, you know? What was next?

To use those well-put cliches – nothing worth having comes easy. For your dream or passion or goal to be fulfilling, working towards it is half the battle.

When I started school, I was certain that I’d get my biology degree, go to med school and become a doctor. Instead, I struggled through school, not because I didn’t love it or like what I was doing. It just seemed like my dream, and my goal was harder than I thought it would be. I think I went in with this notion that because it was my purpose – my dream it would come naturally, basically I thought it would be easy. We all do, this generation has everything at their beck and call. It comes on demand whenever we’d like. So we expect our jobs and our dreams to be the same. Easy, fast and without too much of our own effort. But I’ve learned It’s nothing like that at all.

I’ve always wanted to help people, hence the doctor aspirations. Now I’m searching for another way to do that. My blog and my sharing of essential oils are my way of encouraging and helping others now, but I still feel a little lost. I have this biology degree, and my maternity leave is almost up. I have all these ideas of what I could do, what I should do, what would be best to do. But I’m still lost, I don’t know what I WANT to do. Dreams, goals, those things.

I guess I use to think that they were one and the same, my purpose and my career; my dreams and my goals were supposed to be the same thing. But I’ve learned that my purpose and dreams are different. God’s plan for my life is my purpose but my day to day, my dreams and goals are what my career could reflect. And finding a job in that is what I’m actually struggling with. Anyone else?

Not so much with wondering what my purpose is, but what career and what dream is going to allow me to fulfill that. Helping them with their big questions, with their feelings and emotions and in turn helping their families, encouraging their moms and dads, the way other moms have encouraged me. So no, I don’t know my full purpose and right now I don’t know what my dreams or goals are either. I don’t know what my job or career will be and I for sure don’t know when I’ll know. That’s okay though, I rushed into the whole doctor thing because I thought I needed to have it all figured out. But I don’t, you don’t. No one has it all figured out, that’s why people go back to school after kids or switch jobs 20, 30 years into their careers. Or they retire, just to start something new. That’s why in this day and age people just start up their own business. Be their own bosses and do what they love, what they are passionate about and they figure it out as they go along.

I guess I want my journey to discovering my purpose compared to my dreams and goals to be a little insight for you in case, you’ve ever wondered. If you’ve ever felt lost or confused about where you are, that perhaps a perspective shift is just what you need. Take a moment and really think about what you love, not for the paycheck because there will never be enough money, but something you’ll enjoy.

Everyone wants to know their reason for existing, and it could be anything.I know I do. But it could be for the very reason of saying that one kind word to the person you passed on the street the other day. It could be to bring life to world changers. It could be absolutely anything – from a big gesture. Or the stage in front of millions to even just a one on one with someone that just needed a little encouragement. You won’t know until you’ve lived your life. So go do what you love, do it with everything you’ve got, be kind and generous and love everyone. Live courageously!

Love Crystal

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